Turn And Face The Strange

Volunteers have conversations about the bad habits we’re going to bring back to the states: expecting to get plastered at baptisms and elementary school graduations, snot rocketing all over town, throwing rocks at dogs, fear of lettuce, never showing up on time, expecting multiple carbohydrates on each plate, and a multitude of others. 

The Peace Corps has changed me a lot.  Nothing has shaken the core of my being, but some parts have been brought to the surface or calmed down.

I’m an unrepentant carnivore.  I had a bacon cheeseburger before and after Huayhuash and it was goddamn delicious.  I told my little brother about it and he didn’t believe me.  Anyone who knew me before this would be shocked at the strange animal parts I eat with gusto.  I’m looking forward to some beef heart on a stick in Huancayo this weekend.

I also care a lot less about what other people think of me and am much less self-conscious.  Being a daily object of curiosity and scrutiny will do that to you.  I also try to downplay my looks at site to minimize attention and have gotten used to being dumpy.  I feel extravagant when I put on tight jeans and eyeliner to go out with gringos.  

I’ve slowed down.  The Peace Corps has taught me a lot about moderation and doing the best I can with what I’ve got.  Failure is a constant companion.  It’s not a big deal if I can’t get out for a run one day or an event didn’t go as I planned.  My U.S. self-standards don’t apply here.

My big question now is what will stick with me?  Will I go back home in a year and a half and go back to who I was (with all the goods and bads of that)?  Will I want to be vegetarian again?  Will my self-consciousness come roaring back?  And there’s still so much time for things to change.  

Thankfully, I have a lot of say in who I want to be.  I think the PC will generally make me more awesome.  You guys can judge for yourselves next November. 

The Limits of Service

One of the challenges I’ve found as a Peace Corps Volunteer is balancing requests with reality.  I get asked to fund graduations, install new toilets, and pay for new greenhouses.  It’s difficult to say no, even when the requests are way out of my league.  Many an NGO has rolled in, dropped some money or technology, and rolled out again.  There’s the perception that, as a gringa, I have a lot of money to throw around.  It’s hard to explain that I’m just a human resource and find the sweet spot between soliciting community funds and paying for things myself.  Luckily, a lot of the things I do are cheap. 

                Then there are other times when folks ask me for things and I just don’t feel like it.  Today, I was approached by a nurse from our health post who is working on her master’s.  Her professor gave her an article to read in English.  She approached me and asked me to translate it for her.  The nurse handed me a many paged document titled, “A Treatise on Collective Unconsciousness” or something equally obtuse.  I skimmed the first few paragraphs and immediately glazed over at the liberal sprinkling of five-dollar words.  Translating the document would have taken me several hours that I’m sure I wouldn’t have enjoyed.  So I said that I wasn’t confident that I could do a good translation of that vocabulary.  It’s a half-truth, but I mostly didn’t want to do it.

                I felt guilty after saying no.  I’m supposed to be here to serve and do what my community asks me to do.  But I also have to be careful how I spread out my time and resources.  There are volunteers who have been sucked into only teaching English in schools or spending all their money on projects.  I don’t want to be known as the girl that translates documents.  It sucks because I want to help, but there’s a certain amount of selfishness that has to enter into the equation.  I just came back from an extended vacation and don’t have a lot of projects at the moment, so it makes me feel like a super-jerk to say no.  We’ll see if the guilt holds as I’m here more.  

Getting Back

Hey all!  It's been a long month of travel and it's finally time to be getting back to site.  I have some pretty epic pictures of the Huayhuash trek on Facebook.  There's not much to tell about it other than it was incredible and there is cow shit at 16,500 ft.  


It's a little daunting to go back to Carhuamayo after so much time moving around and being with my gringo friends.  I have to face the frustrations of community development work and the solita life.  


Though there are good things on the horizon.  I have two possible grants coming down the line that will hopefully get a lot of activity going.  I'm excited to go back to the schools and hang out with the kids again.  I hope I'll be able to funnel some of my happiness and contentment about travel into good work.  A ver!

Hilarious

I was looking through my blog stats and one of the search terms used to find my blog was, "black roach beetles everywhere."

At the Hardware Store

Would you like to buy some nuts? bolts? washers? googly eyes?

How about some nails?  Or body perfumes marketed for tweens?  Or whatever it is in this discreet fuscia box that says “vibrating moments”?

Feels Like...

It`s incredible how evocative weather can be.  The temperature, the smells..  Last week, it felt just like a day to put on a sweater and go bike riding around Peace Valley, then go to Kohler farm to feed the goats and maybe buy some late plums.

Recently, it`s felt like the days before Christmas.  Bundly, cloudy, and a little wet, like it might snow in a few days.  The kind of day to go Christmas tree shopping and come home smelling like pine with resin on my hands.  Then watch a Charlie Brown Christmas with cocoa.  

Speaking of which, I`m already way too excited to come home for Christmas.  I`ll find myself fantasizing about it sometimes on long car rides.  All the warmth, family, food and traditions.  Making sugar cookies and being surly during the Christmas card picture.  It will be so wonderful.  And I`m already more than halfway there!  I`m excited to see all the things I can do here in Peru before then.

It may be a while until my next post.  Monday I leave for Huaraz in the mountains for In Service Training.  After that is a bicycle maintanence and then a cocinas mejoradas workshop.  I`m so excited to learn and work with my hands.  After all that, a handful of us are doing the famous Huayhuash trek in the Cordillera Blanca (if my vacation is approved).  It`s all going to be so great that I can hardly contain myself.  Then I can come back to site and get cracking on all the budding projects I have. 

This Evening

It started out with our regional meeting.  We're in Huancayo and all the volunteers from Junin, Pasco, and Yauyos get together.  We all sat down to talk drinking mediocre wine or worse beer.  The meeting lasted several hours and there were some tears this time.  It's incredible that we can feel so lonely and alienated at site and come to the meetings to find a group of people who understand completely and have had every feeling that I've had at one time or another.


We weren't done until late and finally headed out at 9 or so.  It turns out that it's Huancayo's anniversary, and we stumbled into a big crowd with a different band every 10 yards or so in the central plaza.  It was too late and rushed for a sit-down meal, so I had grilled beef heart on a stick with a potato on the end from a street vendor for dinner.  We watched real fireworks that were shot off way too close to the ground, occasionally ducking a smoldering bit of plastic or ash.  


Newly, proteined-up, it was time to hit the discoteca.  I danced cumbia and reggaeton with a few men my size and others who came up to my nose or chin.


"Hi Hector, my name is Beyonce.  Yes, I know I'm sweaty.  I am married, thanks for asking. My husband is a lumberjack and he lives in provencia with  me."  


Now it's 2:24 in the morning.  I promise I'm not drunk-blogging.  Any alcohol in my system was danced out several hours ago.  I was just thinking that if you asked me a year ago what my life in Peace Corps would be like, I would've gotten a few things right, but the picture would have lacked most of its depth and ridiculousness.