There are lots of scary dogs in the Peruvian
countryside.
Many are threatening.
And sometimes they attack.
In truth, some of the dogs around are real assholes. I just don’t have pictures of them because
I’m usually busy trying not to get eaten when I meet them. Thankfully, there are steps you can take to
avoid being a victim.
The first and most important thing is to put on your BAMF
face.
You need to believe that you are the baddest thing on the
pampa. The more confident you are, the
less of a target you become. Would you
try to harass this lady?
Didn’t think so.
Second, if your badassery doesn’t do the trick and you are
charged by a threatening dog, it’s good to have some artillery backup.
3 stones are ideal.
The first stone is small and serves as a warning. If the dog continues to approach, throw the medium
stone to show that you mean business.
The third stone should be as large as you can comfortably carry in your
pocket and is to be used only in worse-case scenarios; when it’s hurt-or-be-hurt.
If for some reason you didn’t follow the steps in this guide
and find yourself being menaced and without rocks or a tough-guy face, you can
do the emergency fake-out. The general
rule is that there are rocks everyplace.
In your path, your garden, your quinoa, everywhere. Except, of course, when you need one. If you are being attacked and rockless, you
can stoop down and pretend to pick one up.
Most aggressive dogs have rocks thrown at them frequently, and this
maneuver will often make them stop short.
The risk is that you bend down and put your face more into biting range
if the gambit doesn’t pay off.
This concludes the beginner’s guide to not getting
chomped. Walk tall, fill your pockets,
and you’ll be alright.
