OMG That´s So Gay!

I go to a man named Oscar for my infrequent haircuts.  He´s really nice, engages me in conversation about things other than the weather, and is good at cutting hair.  He also happens to be gay.  And older host brother was visiting and mentioned that he needed a haircut, so I recommended Oscar.  He scrunched up his face, shook his head, and said, "Es un maricon."  He´s a fag.

I immediately felt my face flush and lots of angry firecrackers went off in my brain, but all I managed to say was, "¿y?"  It would be useless to open a discussion with this particular host brother about homophobia.  We´ve had extended, heated arguments about whether everything on the internet is true and whether or not sharks are fish.

One of the most frustrating things about my PCV existence is constantly backing off of issues like these in deference to "cultural sensetivity."  You´re constantly late, mean to your wife and dog, and homophobic?  That´s cool!  It´s your culture!

That´s a frustrated oversimplification, but there are lots of things I´m not really allowed to express, such as:

"You´re two hours late for a meeting you arranged and are going off on a 40 minute soliloquy about how long the meeting is.  That shit is unprofessional and thoughtless.  Fuck you!"

"You didn´t try in high school, got pregnant at 16, and spend most of the day feeling sorry for yourself when other women applied themselves and are doctors and politicians.  Fuck you and your inertia!"

"You bought that dog, it protects your house, and is heartbreakingly loyal to you.  You can at least feed it once a day and stop kicking it.  Fuck you!"

Any subverting of these ideas needs to be gentle and guerilla style, but I often am tempted to shake people.

But let´s direct this tangent back to homophobia.  It´s a really widespread and disappointing characteristic of Peru.  One of my best volunteer friends is gay.  He´s one of the sweetest humans I´ve ever met, a dedicated volunteer, and a devastatingly good dancer.  But he´d likely be rejected by his community if they found out his sexual orientation, so he has to keep this fundamental aspect of himself a secret.  It seems a terrible shame that he can´t be accepted for everything he is.

I reflected on this some more and reminded myself that millions and millions in my own, supposedly advanced, country feel the same way about homosexual people.  In my life, I´ve interacted with a select minorty of Americans.  My veterinarian and professor parents mostly have friends with letters after their names.  I grew up in a reasonably diverse Philadelphia suburb and most recently spent my America time with socially and environmentally concerned grad students.  I´ve never spent time with people who picket funerals, commit hate crimes, or even vote against gay rights.  It´s a mindset that I feel very distant from and mystified by.

For now, I´m going to feel grateful that I wasn´t sent to one of the African countries where being gay brings the death penatly.  I´m not sure how to effectively work toward equality in the Peruvian campo.  I´ll keep going to Oscar for haircuts, hanging out with him, and try not to choke anybody.