Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Old

Last night, I was sitting by the stove knitting with a kitten in my lap.  I dug my cell phone out of my fuzzy fleece pants and thought to myself, “8:30!  I’d better get ready for bed!” 
In my defense, it takes my room a while to warm up from my body heat.  I also like to read or watch an episode of The Wire and drink some tea or cocoa before bed.  I’ve always had grandma-ish tendencies, but still. 
The Peace Corps lifestyle is one of contrasts.  I’ve been out at the discoteca until 2am, have explored a huge cave in the middle of the night, and have beach and backpacking adventures in the works.  But home life in the campo is quiet.  Working, reading, cooking, walks, and caring for animals.  Long hours of conversation and card games in an occasionally smoky dirt floor kitchen. 
I really like adventure and challenges, but I think a quiet home life suits me.  I’ve been lucky to have found a good balance of both in Missoula, on the farm, and now here.  I wonder if that’s something that I can keep up in real life after Peace Corps?  Can I have an awesome job or live in an adventurous place and then come home and cook and chat with a husband? 
It’s been a relatively recent phenomenon that I’ve been considering what I really want my life to look like in the future.  What kind of work and home life would be fulfilling for me.  I think it started in Montana where I found a place and people I felt like I could be with for a good while.  I’ve felt more than ready to move on after every other phase in my life.  That was the first one where I really wanted to stay longer.  (That isn’t to say that I always was ready to leave people behind, just stages of life.  My college friends are stuck with me forever, even when I’m a continent away.) 
The Peace Corps certainly leaves space for reflection and time with yourself.  If I’ve learned anything it’s that I’m changing and discovering all the time.  I wonder what I’ll want when the two years are over. 
I’ll be 25 in a little over a month.  I must be getting old to be thinking this way. 

1 comment:

  1. Stasia! I didn't want to leave you in MT either. I'm so glad that we get to return from PC and reunite. You aren't old by any means. You just leave a well balanced life full of diverse hobbies and an interest in trying new things. Being calm is appropriate for the campo and you are well adjusted. Be proud of how adaptable you are!

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