Worry

I´m afraid that Huckleberry is dying.  I´ve been taking care of him for a week and it´s been a sequence of one step forward and two steps back.  His diahrrea got better for a while and he was eating, but now he´s inexplicably worse.  Not eating, vomiting what little he manages to eat, shaking and sleeping. 

I had held onto my optimism until this morning.  This week has worn me down and made me sicker as well.  He sleeps with me because it´s too cold for him outside, so that means waking up several times a night to let him out or clean up puke.  I jump awake whenever he twitches in his sleep and feel his belly to make sure he´s still breathing.  I haven´t been able to eat much and haven´t found much pleasure in my activites.  I call my poor veterinarian mom twice a day and pepper her with questions and search for encouragement.  My well-being is wrapped up in his at this point.  This morning I was forcing him to drink electrolyte solution with a syringe and I started bawling. 

It was a few days before I could really give him a name.  I saw that he was sick and was worried about getting too attached.  I called him Puppy or Stinky or Squirt.  But then we spent time together and I cared for him and he started to be Huckleberry.  My family said I can take him back to the states.  He´s my dog.

I feel so tired and powerless.  I´m not giving up.  I´m going to the vet again today.  I just haven´t been able to help him get better.  I hope he gets better.