Being stared at is a reality of Peace Corps life. I can´t imagine there´s a volunteer in the world who escapes it. Maybe some of the folks in eastern Europe until they open their mouths. I´m really happy that I´m not strikingly beautiful or famous or deformed and don´t have to deal with this in the States. Though sometimes here I feel like an awkward combination of the three. There are several flavors of stare that I encounter in Carhuamayo.
1. The Abuelita Stare
-This one is only bothersome if I´m in a bad mood, because how irritated can you be at an old lady in her pile of sweaters spinning yarn? It´s usually accompanied by an, "adonde va?" or, "has acostumbrado?" If they´re feisty, the stare may be accompanied by a kiss or yank on the cheek.
2. The "You´re My First White Person" Stare
-My very favorite. It´s usually just little kids. Their eyes go dragonfly-wide and you´d think they saw a neon fire-breathing unicorn rather than a gringa. They´re incapable of looking away and if they´re walking in front of me, sometimes they´ll be staring so hard they trip over things and fall down. I like to pull out funny faces for these kids because it just heightens their look of disbelief. Peace Corps, blowing minds.
3. The Gringa Jogging Through Potato Fields in Tights Stare
-Equal parts amusement and confusion.
4. The Need A Shower Stare
-This is the worst by far and comes exclusively from men. It´s palpable, yucky, sadly ubiquitous, and makes me walk faster. It´s not hard to imagine what´s running through their minds since my foreignness makes me attractive and Americans have a reputation of being easy (the other day, I learned the phrase Estados Ho-nidos). I have never been so thoroughly objectified so regularly and I range between ignoring and loathing it.
4.a. This stare is especially confusing because I almost go out of my way to be homely here. I wear my PC vest every day which gives no hints to my figure along with baggy hiking pants and usually several bundles over top with either a knit cap or sun hat. I wash my hair twice a week and wear no makeup. Earrings are the extent of my extra effort. Until the other day, I had an armpit hair situation that would make even a campo man think twice. Why on earth would anybody still think about hitting that?
Speaking of which, my relationship with men is complicated here. I´ve met lots of wonderful fellows. My brothers are incredible, I work with nice men at the muni, and the male nurses at the posta are my favorites. But at the same time there´s the stare and the catcalls and the general ickyness. I have to approach new male relationships with caution because I don´t know if they´re talking to me because I´m gringa or because they´re intersted in me as a person. I´ve had a few fleeting suitors that I´ve had to verbally smack down a bit because it was painfully obvious they were only talking to me because I´m white.
Peruvian campo dating is something that I haven´t been interested in even poking with a stick yet. Here´s why in another list form.
1. Machismo
- Cheating is the norm. They come on way too strong, proclaiming love and praising your incredible beauty. Herpes is rampant and Peruvians usually don´t show symptoms. Getting tested for STIs is unmanly. Being seen as a gringa and not a person.
2. Lack of Campo Goggles
- Looks are pretty negligible to me once I start to really like someone, but the Peruvian campo look is not doing it for me. I´m looking for 2/3 a set of teeth or higher. No more than 5 inches shorter than me. As much as I love beards, few things put me off more than bad facial hair. Here, every man is sporting the pre-adolescent wisps or five or six carefully cultivated wiry black hairs. Take me back to Mantana.
3. Potential Drama
- Chisme (gossip) is a virulent national pasttime. No thanks.
I´m making more friends with respectful professional men that act like humans toward me, and it gives me hope for my comfort level moving forward. Tomorrow I´m going to go tell jokes with the gay male nurses. What a relief they are.
That was hysterical !!
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